well i ended up having to go to the emergency room yesterday evening. was soooo sick. got some anti biotics for my tooth infection and also got some mild pain killers for the pain. but i also have that sickness that is going around on top of all that. and now Mark is down with it sick as a dog. its the house of sickness. he has to work today but i am sure he will stay home. in which he should stay home and rest. i have had this sickness now for 5 days. its no fun at all. tho i am feelin a bit of relief today. finally. tho still not 100%.
I have pretty much been up all night with Mark. hes jus been laying on the couch moaning. poor guy. i know what hes going thru. i hate seeing him go thru it too. but i am here for whatever he needs. I have to lay down tho for a few i am sooo tired. then i need to run over to the store and get some things we need to have.
hope everyone else out there is doing ok. i know this sickness has got alot of people right now. it sux. take care all. :)

mood: sick

ugh. well..i have an abcess tooth now. jaw got all swollen up monday morning. was in severe tooth pain sunday night. was up half the night. no fun. i have no money. no insurance....and sick as hell. sometimes i rather jus lay down and die than try and cope with things anymore. seems like everything is jus unraveling. i dont know what to do anymore. i have taken about as much as i can handle. will prolly in up in jail soon anyway since i cant pay bills i owe. how much does one have to take until they know they are defeated?? cuz i am losing hope. i am feeling defeated. as hard as i try to hold it all together...it still falls apart. i have jus been on a downward spiral every since i lost the job at the hotel. and i dont see things gettin any better. my hands are tied. i have made so many bad choices over the last year. i blame myself. i am so down. i cant see any solutions anymore. life has become to hard to stay afloat. anyone have ideas?? i feel i am losing it all and draggin mark down with me. its not fair. ugh. maybe my whole head will rupture and blow up. then there would be a solution.
sorry for the depressing entry. i jus dont know what to do anymore. God knows i have tried to do everything i can think of. nothing is working out. blah. blah blah. if only i could go back in time. i would make different choices. and i would of been finacially secured. i would be a crippled up mess...but i would of been secure. and mark too. now life is in the toilet. once again. thanks to me. maybe God is jus tellin me to call it quits. who knows.
ok enough of this depression. i will go fester in a corner somewhere. :)
hope everyone is doing better than i am. take care. and until our paths cross again.

mood: depressed

hello all. thought i would pop in and make an entry. seems i dont make many anymore. which i need to. although seems life is pretty much routine. lol.
Today i got up at 9am. left around 10:30am. had to go and pick up my check from work. then go cash it. run some errands...and was back home 2 and a half hours later. weee! gotta take Mark to work here in about a half hour. then i have to come back home and get ready for work myself. been workin a few more hours the past couple weeks due to inventory. but now that that is over and done with...they are slashing hours to make up for the hours past. lol. good lord. ya cant win can ya?? I sure wish this economy would turn around. then i could get more hours. but it still sux round here. still no jobs to be found..and the jobs people DO have are always cut. although we are fortunate that Marks hours stay 40 hours plus. without that we would be screwed big time. its still hard tryin to live on his check and mine. but we are makin it. somehow! lol.
ok well i need to get a motivating again. have a great day everyone! catch ya all later. :)

mood: calm

so how is everyone out there? hope everyone is well. things here are not too bad. been on the go alot lately. and today is the day of relaxing!! Mark and I are both off work today so we actually get to spend a whole day together!! that is a rarity. seems Mark and I are always just seeing each other in passing. either i am at work and hes here alone or i am here alone while he is at work. so this is nice. :)
Mark is in the shower right now. we are gonna head over to his dads for a second to drop off something he wanted. then we are gonna go take a walk on the beach a bit. come back home and fix a bite to eat....or get something. thats about all that is planned so far for the day. which is fine with me. i am always on the go..so a nice day doing nothing sounds good!! :)
hope you all have a great labor day. if ur gonna drink...be safe. hugs to all!! :)
oh yeah...like my new profile pic with my babe Mark?? cute aint we?? lol.

mood: content

Hi everyone! hope all is doing well out there in the world. :) things here are fine. Today has been a fabulous day! Mark and I BOTH had the day off work together. this NEVER happens!! its very nice! tho i was technically scheduled to work tonight....but i asked if i could take it off since i worked 8 days in a row already and would of ended up workin 12 days if i didnt take today off. so it was well worth it. :)
Even tho we havent done much of anything today...its just nice spending the whole day together.
plus we are broker that broke this week. we have to pay the power bill off of my check tomorrow. which will leave us with literally 0.00 until friday. fun fun!! power bills are sooooo expensive!! ugh.
Tomorrow its back to the grind! gotta work 8am to 4pm monday and tuesday..then wed i work 8am to noon. then i am off on thursday. not sure what i am workin fri and sat. so i only get one day off this coming week. starting to pick up on alot more hours now that we are moving close to inventory day and plus its that time of year too for the store. so i am liking that. :) it kinda blows tho when i have to work days....cuz by the time i get off work...Mark is already gone for work...so i dont see him until he gets off at 11pm...and if i have to work in the morning again...then i am in bed by midnight. :(
but all is good here. i am thankful i have a job period. i went so long being unemplyed and life was so hard on us. we still have our struggling moments but nothing like we had before. plus the fact i am not spending money on pain killers and stuff now. helps alot. i cant believe i have been clean now for 2 months!! yay for me!! :)
ok well i am gonna get back to my sexy man....hope u all had a good weekend. have a great week. hugs to all!! :)

mood: happy

well this has been a week. i am glad its over. I got sick starting monday night after work. ended up having to call in to work sick on tues and wed. i was soo sooo sick. then i started feelin good on thurs and managed to strain my back. so that was killing me for the next couple days. then i was gonna go to work thurs and found out they revised the schedules again. i just happened to call them and they told me i was off. that twice this week they changed the schedules. i wish they would stop doing that or i will have to call them every day and make sure i am working and what hours i am working. lol.
so then i worked today on a day off and back to work in the morning.
I am glad i am feeling better. it was such a rough week. my back is still a little sore but not in terrible pain and can bend over now. so theres a plus! :)
Mark and I are just sittin here on our laptops. and talkin. drinkin beers and listening to tunes. tho i have to get to bed soon. which sux.
anyway..theres my entry..lol. have a good week everyone!! :)

mood: drunk

hello my peeps!! lol. how are all of you out there doing tonight?? hope ur all jus fabulous!! :) I am doing well. got a little tummy upset but nothing new. i seem to have alot of stomach issues anymore. sometimes i wonder if i have an ulcer. Mark seems to think i do. and i jus might have. sux. ah well.
So i have anjoyed the last couple days off work. havent done a whole lot other than running errands and cleaning house. lol. fun stuff.
Mark and I got invited to go out tonight to the club. tho he works until 11pm. and i have to work tomorrow so i think him and i are jus staying in tonight. I dont mind going out every now and then tho. but its hard when mark dont get home until 11pm...by the time we got ready to leave and drive 30 mins over there...it would be 12:30am at the earliest. its just cheaper to drink at home anyway. lol. gawd i am gettin old huh?? lol.
Mark and i just celebrated our 2 year anniversary a few days ago. this is the longest i have ever been in a relationship. but i know with Mark this one will be the one that lasts. he is my soul mate. i love him very much and very deeply. i would do anything for him. :)
well i am being paged on AIM..lol...so i am gonna wrap this up. take care everyone and i will catch u all next time. good night.

mood: cheerful

hello everyone!! hope all is well out there! things here are not too bad. I was excited to find out that i got more hours at work next week!! yay! though the bad part is that i work in the day...and mark will be workin at night. so wont see much of him next week. :(
I also found out that i made person of the month. woohoo! lol. so i get a check for $50.00. :)
not really alot to report. seems life is a series of workin...drinkin and sleepin. lol. other than that..things are pretty quiet here on the homefront. lol.
Mark and I are just sittin here at the computer desk with both of our laptops buzzing. lol. throwin back a few beers....well ok...as many beers as possible. lol.
I am off work the next 2 days!! yay!!
well i am off. catch ya next time around. :)

mood: happy

hello everyone! hope all of you out there are doing well. things here are pretty good.
Today is Mark and I's 2 year anniversary! yup. we have been together now for 2 long grueling years! LOL. just kidding. things are still great with us. not saying we dont have our moments..(like all couples do) but i still love him just as much if not more than the day we met. :) I knew from the moment i first saw him that he was the one i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
Not too much more to tell u about thats been going on with me. still loving my job. i just wish i could be full time there instead of just workin part time. maybe someday. i mean i finally have a job i want to stay at for the rest of my life. its the best job i have ever had.
Mark and I are also still cleaning condos from time to time too which helps out too. i should say HE does most the cleaning. i am not the best condo cleaner. lol. i mean i know all about how to clean schools and places of business....but when cleaning someones home or place of residence...i am lost. lol. coarse Mark is excellent at it. but hes done that type of work for years upon years. so he knows all the ins and outs of the trade. :)
We went out to dinner on Sunday. wanted to do something for our 2 yr anniversary. seeing as tho we never get days off together anymore. in fact...i was even suppose to work sunday...i didnt go in so Mark and I could have a day together. i have told work countless times i want and NEED sundays OFF! its the only day mark and i can have together. and still they schedule me to work that day. sux.
ok well not much more to talk about. gotta motivate soon. we both have to work today.
have a good day all. catch ya next time. :)

mood: happy

Hello everyone! thought i better make an entry. its been a month since i have made one. hope all is doing well out there. things here are ok. its been over a month now being clean from pain killers. its been a LONG road for me....but i am surviving. :)
I have put on some wieght now too. i am up to 175lbs now. which is still a little under from what i should be....but i def look better than i had looked when i was on the pain killers. i was lookin terrible.
Mark and I have a 2 year anniversary coming up in a little over a week! it still kinda amazes me a little that we have been together this long. just for the fact i have never been in a relationship for more than a year. guess i just hadnt found the right one yet. lol. but all is going well here with us. still tryin to figure out something to get him or something to do for our anniversary. if anyone has any ideas...feel free to let me know. :)
well think i will finish gettin the laundry done. Mark should be home from work in about a half hour. got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. got 2 condos to clean and then have to work at 5pm. until close. then have to open at 8am on monday until 4pm. ugh. lol.
take care everyone. i will try and be better at keepin this updated more often. :)

mood: okay

well...i had a rough night last night. still detoxing i guess. had been starting to feel better. then bam. sickness struck me again last night. i guess its enivitable. its just gonna take time to get back to 100%.i woke up this morning feelin ok. but a crashing headache.
Its a beautiful day out there today. i have to go to work this evening. 5pm to 10pm. really wish i could just be off tho. i am so afraid of my next round od sickness to hit. if it does. i dont know. at least i am up more than down now. so thats good i guess. :)
I know one thing. i have been eating alot better now. lol. before i never ate. and dropped so much wait. theres really not much left of me anymore. im skin and bone. but i am sure i will put the wieght back on slowly. yay!! :)
ok well i just wanted to check in real quick this morning. Mark is still in bed. the lazy butt. lol. tho i prolly would of stayed in bed too...but i had to get up and take some tylenol. and once i am up...i am up. i need to get in the shower too.
have a good day everyone and i will catch you all later. :)
take care!!

mood: lazy

well....i am finally starting to feel like my old self again. i had a VERY rough week last week. some of you know why..and some of you dont. for those of you who dont...i took the week off work. my boss let me have it off so i could detox. yes...detox. i had been living on pain killers for a few years...and finally decided to drop them. they were ruining my life. i had lost almost 60 lbs. i was completely broke all the time. and many other things were affected. so it was time to get off. and i got deathly ill for a week. yesterday i finally started to feel better. so all is going to get back on track soon. gettin my life together once again. after letting it spiral out of control for too long. If anyone out there is dealing with the same addictions i had. please know...that there is a way out. either cold turkey like i did. or go see ur doctor for help. which i recommend for those if you who really abuse them. i pretty much just used them to stay feelin normal. with the occassional buzz. so it only took me 7 days to rid my body of them.
so yesterday was a nice day. finally started feeling better. Mark and I were both off work. got the yard cut. and laundry all caught up.
today i got up at 5am. worked 8am to 4:30pm today. came home. Mark was off today. hes been sittin here playing his XBOX every since i have gotten home. lol. i need to run to the store here soon and pick up a few things we need.
hope everyone is having a good monday! take care out there. :)

mood: cheerful

so we left here yesterday around 12:30pm. got half way to our friends house and had to turn around and come back home. Mark had forgotten his wallet. lol. so we got a late start. got to his friends house around 2pm. loaded up the car with his stuff. then we were off to Orlando around 3pm. Mark drove all the way. got checked in to our room around 4:30pm. gorgeous hotel! inside the Walt Disney World property. we unpacked and sat out on the balcony overlooking the pond. just absolutely beautiful. and of coarse the hotel was PACKED with hot half naked men everywhere! lol. gay days of coarse!! lol. we started gettin dressed and ready to go out around 6pm. left at 7pm. took a town car over to the club where we seen Varla Jean perform. AWESOME show! had a GREAT time!! then the show let out at 10:30pm. and the plans were to pay to go in to the club and spend a few hours. so we paid 20 dollars a piece to get in....then our friend Greg decided he just wanted to go home. which kind of irritated me a bit. since we just paid 40.00 altogether for Mark and I to get in. so he was throwing a fit that he wanted to leave. so we hopped in a taxi and went back to the hotel room. i was just a little on the pissed side. i hated we spent all that money and was forced to leave and not even get our moneys worth of fun. but i got over it. sort of. lol. so then we decided we wanted to get something to eat. we hadnt eaten all day. so we tried calling a place to get food. we had to wait and hour for them to come deliver it. and then when they got there...they called and told us to meet them out front. so i went down to meet them. waited out there prolly 15 mins...no sign of them. then Mark comes running down on the cell phone with them who was saying they were there and had us running all over the parking lot tryin to find them. with no luck. and the delivery guy was being a complete ass to Mark on the phone. we think he was at the wrong hotel...even tho he said he was at the right one. but we looked all over. no sign. so finally Mark was like just forget it and hung up on him. Mark said he was cussing and being rude. i was like well screw him then. lol. so we went back up to the room. Greg had already called it a night and went to bed. Mark and I were starving tho. and it was already 1am. too late for anything to be delivered. and we had to eat. so we decided to get room service. even tho that was expensive as hell. all we coule afford was 2 orders of french fries. which was 15.00. lol. so that took another half hour. we ate that. then went to bed around 2:30am. slept like a log. got up at 10am this morning to Greg throwing back the curtains and yelling GOOD MORNING! ugh. lol. was a beautiful sunny day. we all just hung out in the room for awhile. then got ready and went down to the pool and laid around down there for awhile. came back up to the room. packed things up and left around 2pm. jumped in the car and i drove us back. dropped Greg off at his house. unloaded the car and went in for a few mins. his mother was there house sitting the dogs. left there...got some gas...stopped off at McDonalds for food. went over to the park by the ocean and ate. then came home! just sitting here relaxing now. had a nice time. Mark is really red. he burns easily in the sun. i barely got anything. lol.
ok i am off now. i need to run to the corner store and grab some beer! lol. catch u all later. hope you all had a good weekend! :)

mood: cheerful

got up today around 11am. Mark was already up. he had errands to run. so he left shortly after i got up. i played online a little. then sat out on the porch swing awhile. he came home. we both took a nap. had the sleepies. then took him to work at 3pm. back home. started in on the laundry. had 4 loads to do today. played online a little more. watched TV. napped more. then cleaned the house some. now its about time to go over and pick him up from work. gotta get some things packed up tonight for our trip to Orlando this weekend. we are leaving tomorrow early afternoon. prolly round 12:30pm. wont gt back until sunday evening. looking forward to it. staying in a fancy hotel. then going out saturday night to a drag show. will be lotta fun. :)
hope everyone has a great weekend. catch u all when i get back. hugs!! take care and be safe!!

mood: chipper

got up today around 11am. played online. picked up the house a little. Mark got up at 12:30pm. rainy gloomy day today. took him to work at 3pm. i came back home. fixed a bite to eat. showered. played online a little. got dressed. worked 6pm to 10pm. short night tonight. picked up Mark from work. came home. just hangin out here at the house. I am off now the next 3 days. tomorrow we have to get all of our errands ran and things ready to go. we are leaving Saturday round noon. heading to Orlando for the weekend with some friends. hopefully it will be a good time. i am hoping. got our tickets for the show we are seeing while we are there. that should be a lot of fun. :)
hope everyone is having a good week. hang in there its almost the weekend!! take care and be safe!

mood: content

got up this morning at 6:30am. got ready and went to work. worked until about 12:20pm. came home. then Mark took the car. he had some errands to run. he came back home and got ready and i took him to work. came home played online. watched some TV. fixed a little something to eat. took a nap. and took another nap. lol. i was so tired. picked up Mark from work. came home. just been sittin here watchin TV and playin online. Mark just got done shaving his head and showering. smells so good now! :)
tomorrow i dont have to be to work until 6pm.!! yay!! so i get to sleep in in the morning!! and finally get more than just 4 hours of sleep!! so i am excited about that!! :)
hope everyones week is going well. its almost the weekend!! take care out there and be safe!! :)

mood: happy

got up this morning at 6:30am. after going to bed at 2:30am last night. yet again another night of not much sleep. worked 8am to 4pm today. was a LONG stressful busy day. we had the big wheels from Corp in today. they were there almost the whole entire day! so we were under alot of stress tryin to make sure everything was going according to the book and jumpin thru hoops. lol. i was sooooo glad when it was time to come home. after work i had to stop off at the grocery to pick up a little food and stuff. then stopped by Marks work to see him for a few mins. came home. watched TV. played online a little. fixed some dinner. ate. laid down for a nap. talked to couple friends online. then went and picked up Mark from work. stopped by a friends house on the way home to visit with some friends who told us to stop by before they leave for Indiana. i think they leave tomorrow. now i cant remember what they said. lol. then we had to stop off by Marks dads place to pick up a bill that his dad needed Mark to mail for him. His dad left for Kentucky this morning. hes going to be there a week or 2. visiting with family and friends. Its nice that hes gettin out and doing things. i know it has to be hard sittin in the condo alone all the time. and a place that him and his wife shared together for many years. now that his wife has passed i am sure he gets lonely. so its good he went on a little trip.
Mark and I watched a half hour premiere thats gonna be on showtime. Nurse Jackie. looks interesting. although we no longer have Showtime anymore. but can watch it either on YouTube or on one of those movie sites.
Prolly have to go to bed here soon. gotta get up early again in the morning and go to work. working 8am to noon tomorrow. was actually suppose to be off...but a girl asked if i would work for her cuz she has a doctors appointment. she is gettin a wart removed. so i told her i would work for her.
thats about all i got to say right now. hope everyone is having a good week so far. take care and be safe. catch yas later. :)

mood: content

I got up this morning at 5am. got online. very tired. didnt get much sleep. talked to my boss online. told me i could come in at 10am today and work over. so laid on the couch and napped an hour. then got ready for work. went over to the bank with Mark at 9am to cash the check we got from cleaning a condo sunday. brought him home. got gas. went to work. after work came home. started feeling light headed and dizzy. laid down. ended up gettin a horrible migrane. slept all evening. got up at 10:30pm. Mark just now went to bed and i am heading there now myself. have to work 8am to 4pm tomorrow. have a good night everyone. :)

mood: drained

got up at noon today. finally got to sleep in for the first time this week. and actually got more than just 4 hours of sleep! it was sooo nice. had to run out right away so i could run over to the store and get food for the cat and dog. mark and i are just sittin here on out computers for a bit. We have to go clean a condo here soon. we should be there now...but its hard to get motivated to go work on our day off work. lol. at least he is off tomorrow too. i have to get up at 5am and work tomorrow morning. so its kinda like not even gettin a day off today. sucks. so i really wont have a day off until Thursday. 7 days before i get a whole day off. ugh. We are still planning as of now going to Orlando Saturday and Sunday. hopefully things wont fall thru and not be able to go. we are really lookin forward to gettin out of the house awhile...and have some fun. :)
hope everyone is having a good weekend. take care and be safe!!

mood: calm

got up today at 9:30am. got online a few, then headed out the door to run a couple errands and stopped by a friends house for a few mins to tell them good byes. they are leaving for Indiana for a few days to visit family.
came home. some lady started mowing our front yard. Mark yelled out to her what she was doing. and i guess Fran (the crazy mental bitch next door) had her come over here to mow it. sayin how we have been yelling at her and causing her grief. and how we dont maintain our property and all this other complete garbage. we told the lasy about her. and she knows that Fran is crazy. the whole neighborhood knows. she was just going to go ahead and mow our grass just to keep her mouth closed and bring a little harmony into the neighborhood until Fran comes up with another complaint against someone. our yard wasnt even that bad. Mark just mowed it right before we had all that rain for a week. and its actually STILL raining at some point every day...so we havent had the chance to get out there and get it cut. lord. we just wanna throttle Fran so bad!
We offered the lady some money for mowing our grass...but she wouldnt accept it. she was a very nice lady. sooo...our grass is cut now. lol.
well i need to get in the shower. gotta take Mark to work...then come home and get ready to go to work myself. workin 5pm to 10pm tonight.
talk to ya'll later!! take care!

mood: calm