well i hope ALL of you out there had a good Thanksgiving today. :) It was just another day for Mark and I. we didnt even get outta bed until 2pm this afternoon. well i actually got up at 8:30am but went back to bed a couple hours later. was tired. took Mark to work at 3pm. came home and just sat on the internet. done some laundry and made the bed is bout all. scrounged up enough money to get a little can of ravioli to eat today. Marks having a fabulous bologna sandwich when he comes home. this is the first thanksgiving we have jus been to broke to even eat. sux. im so tired of struggling. i really dont think things will ever get better. I am still suffering with this tooth in my head. nothing can be done about it. took the last of my mild pain killers so it will really be hurting tomorrow. fun fun!! and naturally i have to work tomorrow on black friday. the busiest shopping day of the year. i sooooo dread that. and i get to work it in pain. more fun fun! i just dont know what to do anymore. everything is jus crumbling down around us. maybe its a sign from God that i am suppose to move back to ohio with my parents. i dont know. is it possible things will EVER get better?? things just havent been good since i lost the job at the hotel last year. and the economy isnt lookin any better. some days i just dont even wanna get outta bed. it wouldnt be as bad if it was just ME who had to suffer and be miserable thru life....but to watch Mark go thru it too kills me. i just cant stand it. but i dont know what to do anymore. i cant even help myself let alone him.
I have tried bringing up gettin a room mate to share the house with us. we do have a spare bedroom. but Mark is against it. the house i guess is kinda small to have a third person living here. be a bit cramped. but i sure would be willing to deal with that than having to lose water cable power phone and everything else...and be better than having to go hungry.
I am thankful tho for one thing. at least we have a roof over our heads. and we have each other. and we are at least able to eat a small bit of something every day to keep us going. better than nothing i guess. :) why does life have to be so damned hard?? I am so stressed out every day. and tryin to figure out every morning jus how to make it thru another day. ugh. i want happiness. i want fun again. i have almost forgotten what its like to have a good time anymore. Then we have Marks dad that doesnt help matters much. hes always bitchin to us about something. how we should be living fine and that we need to quit smoking (as he puffs away on his cigerettes). what is it with parents anyway?? are they all just stuck back in the 70s or 60s thinkin that u should live good on 7 dollars an hour?
anyway...sorry again for yet another depressing entry. lol. i am sure i have lost some readers to my blog cuz of its sadness. but hey...its my journal. i can get off my chest how i am feeling. and if no one wants to read it then they dont have to. :P right? lol.
I try to stay as upbeat as i can. and Mark does a pretty good job and making it look like hes ok. but only the 2 of us know how we really are feeling once we are both alone in the house. the charades are over then.
I still have not heard anything back about the food stamps i applied for over 3 weeks ago. last week they wanted me to fax over to them my last 4 paychecks. and i did. but still nothing. altho they said it could take up to 45 days. dam. a person could die of starvation by then. guess i dont have to worry about ever gaining weight. lol. tho if we get them food stamps...we are gonna at least eat like KINGS!! lol. hell 2 meals a day would be eating like a king to me. :P
We are suppose to have a BIG feast brought in to work tomorrow. Turkey and all the trimmings. so that will be cool. after work tho i have to hurry up and get outta there. grab my tiny lil paycheck...cash it and put the money in the bank before we get hit with more overdraft fees. so i dont know how i am going to enjoy a meal. thats another thing. it never seems like i have any time to get things done. u would think with me only working part time i would have all the time in the world to get things done. but its always a dead run with me. guess its jus cuz we only have one car and both of us have things we need to do....so its extra running for me.
ok well i guess i should get off here. gotta get ready and take off here.
take care all. and it prolly wouldnt hurt to say a lil prayer for Mark and I. we could use some good things to happen to us soon. :) thanks.
big hug to all. :)
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